Yesterday’s Chrysanthemum

Galene….

I stared at the ceiling before I jumped out of bed to search my cabinet filled with photo albums, year books, polaroid pictures, and letters from the people I know.

I kept trying to remember how she looked but my memorys somehow distorted. Maybe if I see her picture in one of these pictures Ill remember her face. Maybe Ill know who she is when I read a letter from her.

Maybe, just maybe, I know her.

”Where is it? ”

I began to feel my self breaking down for some reason. Why do I feel like this? Why do I feel like shit when she started crying? Do I even have the right to pity someone in a dream? Im literally in the hell hole myself, so why?

Before I knew it, I was already shedding tears again. My heart ached so much that I wanted to scream out loud. But no voice left my mouth.

I kept sobbing as I stared at the scattered photos on the floor.

”Galene.. ” I said under my breath.

My phone suddenly rang, it was Leo. I didn answer his call so he sent me a text right after.

Hey, I was thinking of visiting the new coffee shop downtown. I was going to ask you to come but I guess you
e still sleeping. Send me a reply if you ever want to come.

I put my phone down after reading his text.

I sighed and subtly laughed. I must be insane. I shouldn be this invested over a dream.

I got up and fixed myself. I took my towel and went straight to the bathroom.

My reflection in the bathroom mirror was a mess. My hairs all tangled up, my eyes were filled redness, and my skin looks pale. Damn, I need to get my shit together.

Thats right, I should stop acting like this. I have more important things to do. Besides, my dream wouldn heal my tremors.

—

I walked towards the café, wearing a blue sweater on top of my white shirt, black pants and white shoes. I listened to music on my way there to avoid thinking of useless things.

”You came. Thats new. You always turn me down. ” Leo said as soon as I enter the café

He was wearing a white polo along with his black slacks and white shoes. His hair was fixed up which exposed most of his forehead.

”Stop pouting you look disgusting. ”

”You know I have feelings too, Aziel! Stop bullying me. ” He complained and looked so hurt, which I found funny.

”Kyline ” I immediately turned my head towards the barista.

I stared at the woman getting her coffee from the counter. I chuckled lightly. He didn say Galene after all. What was I expecting?

”Is she your type? ” Leo suddenly blurted out which stopped me from zoning out.

”Shut up, I just thought shes someone I know. ” I said and sat down

”Oh excuses. ” He teased but I just threw the carton cup holder at his face.

”You know what, this is what they call a friend harassment! Im gonna sue you! ”

”Who even says that? ”

We laughed at how cringy our conversation was. Yeah, laugh it off Aziel. Stop thinking about it.

—

Well thats what I thought. Because after I went home and slept, I am, once again, in this dream with her.

”You
e back, Azi. How was your day? ” She asked while sitting on the grass.

”Hey, look, I don know how and why you
e doing this. Whoever you are, whatever you are, stop bothering me. ”

She stared at me for quite some time. Was I too harsh? Wait who cares? She is just a figment of my dream.

She suddenly burst out laughing

”You shouldve seen the look in your face! Thats so funny! ” She teased me continuously after that.

I felt my face burning up from the embarrassment

”Stop laughing ” I protested but she didn listen.

I got so annoyed that I called out her name. She looked at me softly and smiled.

”You remembered my name. Thats a relief. ”

She patted the space beside her like she was asking me to sit down. For some reason, I forgot that I wanted this to stop. It was as if my feet moved on its own without my brain protesting.

”So, tell me about your day. ”

I stayed silent. Why should I tell her?

”You don want to? Okay, Ill go first. ” She enthusiastically said.

”Do you see that garden? ”

She pointed the garden below us. We were at the top of a hill, and the view is absolutely breathtaking. I couldn answer her, I was in awe. It was filled with red roses, yellow tulips, purple hyacinths, and pink carnations.

”Thats my garden. Its pretty, right? Although, Ive been trying my best to make yellow chrysanthemums bloom for a year now, but I still can do it. ” She uttered in disappointment

”You
e garden already looks amazing as it is, you should just- ”

”be grateful for what you have ” we both said.

”I knew you would say that. ” She said and put her chin on her crossed arms that were on top of her knees.

”Why do you talk like that? Like you know who I am or what kind of person I am. ” I looked at her.

”You
e too easy to read. ”

I scoffed.

”Never thought Ill be hearing that in my dreams too. ”

She softly laughed. We stayed silent for a short while.

”You know, this view would be a great for a painting. ” I said as I make a small box using my fingers and looked through it.

”Then paint it. ” She said

”I can . I was- ” I stopped for a while and put my hands down.

”I was in a car accident a year ago. For some reason, I began to have hand tremors after that. Which is why I can paint anymore. ”

”Have you tried to paint again? ”

”No. ”

”Then how are you so sure that you can paint anymore? ”

”I just know. ”

I looked at her, she was already looking at me. Her eyes were telling me something but I couldn catch what it was.

”Theres no harm in trying. You can give up on something that makes you happy just because of an assumption. ”

Somehow, her words hit me.

”Maybe, the only one thats stopping you is you, yourself. ”

I smiled a bit out of relief. Maybe shes right.

”Can you promise me youll try? I would love to see you paint my garden. ” She said and raised her pinky finger

”Thats childish. Plus I don even know how Ill bring the painting here. ” I said but she didn put her hand down.

”I know how, just promise me youll try. ” she insisted.

I chuckled, she seemed desperate so I did a pinky promise with her

”Alright, Galene. ”

”Alright. ” She said.

”Now close your eyes. ” She added

”Why? ”

”You have to go home to paint. ”

And its as if she was controlling me, I suddenly closed my eyes.

The next thing I knew, my alarm was already ringing.

I stood up hurriedly and went to my art room. I grabbed all the things I needed to paint. It was as if my worries and hand tremors disappeared.

I don know what happened, but I was painting again.

I wasn thinking about anything else, all I was thinking about was her garden. I was trying my best to remember how it looked.

One things for sure though, I was doing it for Galene.