out of the blue.
As if she had already talked about it with Sir Shubart first, Sir Shubart only smiled awkwardly.
On the contrary, I couldn’t shake my doubts at the sight of them eating so fine in the relaxing atmosphere.

Please, don’t do anything dangerous.
Let me live a long and happy life, please!

I prayed by naming the Gods from all over the world that I didn’t believe in.

“Not right now.”

As I panicked at her words, I opened my mouth in a slightly calm state.

“But why in the capital?”

“That’s where we’re supposed to be.”

My mother raised her eyes as if she was saying something obvious.
It’s an expression I haven’t seen in a long time, so I swallowed my saliva.

“But…”

“First of all, we will move to another place and talk about it later.
Why do you surprise her?”

Sir Shubart stopped my mother as if to calm me down, but my mother never could be stopped with only those words.

“She’s all grown up now.
It doesn’t matter.”

Her cynical voice gave Sir Shubart a troubled smile.
I smiled slightly at him as a sign that I was fine and put the food back in my mouth.
Because of that, I couldn’t think of the taste of the food I was putting in my mouth.

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Did my mother find out something?

It’s been a while since he left, so they probably wouldn’t have run into each other.
I thought deeply about it and bit my tongue.
Eventually, I got indigestion from all the food I ate during the meal.

* * *

“Uh…”

I was going to take a walk to get some winter breeze, but I felt sick and eventually came back to my room and went straight to bed.
I randomly opened the nightstand near the bed.
Then, I poured out the medicine without taking water.
Even though I had just taken medicine, I still suffered from stomachache, so I lay on the bed and groaned.

“Ah, I really have a stomach ache.”

It was really frustrating.
I don’t know why my mother can’t understand my feelings.
Of course, I tend to actively agree with her opinion.
But this time, I might really die.
Indeed, this time might be really dangerous.
It made me think that my mother would rather die than understand how I felt.
I turned to the ceiling again and lay down.

Knock, knock.

Someone knocked on the door.

“Come on in.”

It’s 100% percent Sir Shuabrt who did it.
And as expected, it was Sir Shubart who opened the door.

“Are you okay?”

He came near.
The bed clumped and tilted, feeling a heavy weight on one side.
I just looked at him, then looked back to the ceiling.
I just looked down at him then looked back to the ceiling.

“Does mother really want to go back to the capital?”

“Um.”

Sir Shubart gave a vague answer and looked at the window.
Unlike the small room, the large window contained the scenery outside in the middle of winter.

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“Lucellai will never give up for the rest of her life.”

It sounded as if my mother was very desperate.

“Does mother feel uncomfortable living like this? It’s just her ambition…”

“Carbella,” Sir Shubart called me softly.

“Yes.”

“Each person has something that they can’t let go of.”

“…”

“That’s why.
It’s something she can’t let go of.”

I didn’t answer his words.

Sir Shubart patted the blanket a little as if to comfort me, then left the room.

I know what he’s saying.
That everyone has something like that.
I know.

“…That’s how I am to my mother.”

* * *

It was only a week after that day that we moved.
Sir Shubart has been busy coming and going since a few days ago, and soon after, I heard that we should start moving this morning.
I put on my thick winter clothes and followed my mother.
The black carriage with Sir Shubart was waiting for us.  My mother got on the carriage first.

I grabbed Sir Shubart’s hand and looked back as I tried to get on.
This house was full of inconveniences, but I guess I was already attached to it.
When I saw something in the snow on the way, I looked at the house once and then to the food storage where he had been staying for a while.
Now there was no trace of Prince Valery Ahibara Kasinev.
Even if he comes back to give me a reward, he probably won’t be able to see me.

Without further ado, I turned my head and climbed into the carriage.
The carriage ran non-stop for about an hour or so.
It said the place we moved to was still in the North, but the size of the North territory was enormous.
The fact that the Prince came to my house even though the North territory was this large was amazing.

I stared endlessly outside, seeing nothing but bare trees and white snow.
My mother hasn’t said a word to me since morning until now.
I was already used to this kind of atmosphere, so I continued to focus on looking at the scenery. 

 

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