The Principle of a Philosopher by Eternal Fool “Asley”

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Translator: Barnnn

Editor: Anna

Proofreader: Xemul

 

“Ngh-!”

 

June slapped Ferris right on the cheek.

The girl seemed genuinely remorseful, what with her taking it without any resistance.

 

“…”

“Please think carefully about what you’ve done.”

 

She better do.
The incident had ended up involving all of the villagers, what with them having to evacuate in the middle of the night.

When the Blazing Dragons started attacking us on the mountain, these villagers must have seen it as the situation taking a turn for the worse – or even outright hopeless.

It was somewhat of a blessing that the Dragons had grouped up with their own kind so cohesively.

This incident could serve to mellow Ferris’ attitude down a bit, too.

I had planned to scold her harshly as well, but now I thought it might be better left to June, what with her being a fellow aristocrat, and her beloved brother being put in danger.

This is June we’re talking about, though; she probably planned to apologize to Polco later on, for hitting Ferris.

 

 

With that in consideration, June must be quite incensed to resort to using force in the first place.

And, well, now it was common knowledge that June had used Teleportation to get here… I suppose I’ll just have to live with that.

I’ll remember to ask Polco to try and keep this knowledge under wraps later.
Not that I know if that will work out, though.

For the time being, all Pochi and I needed to do was keep silent and work on disciplining young Ferris.

…While I thought things over, the moment was totally ruined by the rumbling of Pochi’s stomach.

Perhaps Pochi had been directing her pressure at June instead – ‘Wrap up the lecturing already!’ ‘Hurry and bring me food!’ And stuff.

With that said, I AM also hungry.

This atmosphere did indeed seem like it would persist forever.
It must be hard for Ferris, too, what with her being just a kid… put under fire from June, a woman comparable to the Holy Warriors.

But just as I thought that, June took a totally unexpected course of action.

 

“Agh-!”

 

Pochi and I couldn’t believe our eyes.

June had punched Bright – June, of all people!

 

“You’re not off the hook either, Bright.
You have put a number of our neighbors in danger.
No one knows how the incident would have turned out if not for Sir Poer’s help.”

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He could have refused to go along with Ferris’ shenanigans – that was probably what she wanted to say.

And June would be right on that.
Bright was quite talented, but when it came to these sorts of interactions, he was still weak.

He needed to be trained in the strength of will – to become a man who could firmly say ‘no’.

I had never expected June to have it in her to hit her little brother, though… I mean, looking at her now, she seems like she’s about to cry before the little guy does.

 

“Sir Poer…”

 

“What is it, milady?”

“You were a great help to us, just as you had been last time.
I don’t know what will be appropriate for expressing our thanks to you.”

 

“Please, no need to thank me.
I was only protecting myself.”

 

Hearing that, June’s expression loosened down, though she kept looking at me for a few seconds.

And then she smiled faintly before saying, “I’ll have you take care of the rest,” and then leaving the room.

She was probably heading to my room in the reception house, in order to return to Brunnera right away.

Hmm… it was a good thing that I never needed to intervene.

 

 

I mumbled to myself; Ferris’ shoulders twitched in alarm, while Bright cast his eyes slightly down.

They were probably expecting more lectures.

Well, June had been quite appropriately harsh on them already.
It would be boorish of me to say anything more.

But of course-

 

“…Starting tomorrow, our lessons will primarily consist of lectures.
You two will learn about monsters’ characteristics, their dangers, and methods to appropriately deal with them.
Understood?”

 

“…Yes.”

 

“I-I know…”

 

-I sure as hell am going to scold them in my own way.

 

“Although Chiquiata was the one who started it, if not for Lady Ferris’ actions, the Blazing Dragons – officially named Lord Dragons – would never have seen us as hostile.
As such, Lady Ferris will have to face the appropriate punishment.”

 

“…What will it be?”

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Young Ferris’ shoulders stiffened; she looked alarmed.

 

“You will be scolded by Sir Polco for needlessly spending the house’s money.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Pochi stood up… wait, stand?!

Like, on her hind legs.
She would do that only once in a blue moon.

Pochi placed her paws on Ferris’ shoulders and shot her a sharp glare – with the eyes of a ferocious wolf.

…She was supposed to be a bird now, though.

 

“This may be sudden, but please bear with me, all right?! Master said that you should hold a party for the people who fought to ensure the people’s safety tonight! To thank them! For their hard work! Wrap them in a bed of gentle meat!!”

 

That would be one hell of a greasy bed… I wouldn’t want to sleep in it.

What even is a ‘gentle’ meat, anyway?

 

“Oh… that…”

 

Relieved, young Ferris put her guard down.

 

“I understand.
Let’s wait until-“

 

“RIGHT NOW!!”

 

Pochi pressured young Ferris, prompting the latter to flick off the formers’ front legs.

 

“A-all right, fine! I’ll make the arrangements immediately!”

 

“You better do so!”

 

To add to Pochi’s insistence, I proceeded to say,

 

“Master Bright, Lady Ferris… You two are coming with us as well.”

 

They have to get used to the pressure from the people around them, after all.

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Being right there would make them feel ashamed of their actions, I’m sure – that would serve as the hidden punishment from me.

 

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

 

~~Kugg Village Tavern, One O’clock in the Morning~~

 

“HAHAHAHA! The Shiro wolf-dog really surprised me back there, you know.
You guys wanna know what she said right when she woke up? ‘Go save my Master! Or else I’ll bite you to death!!’ Man, I think I’m gonna cry again!”

 

“H-hey, stop it, Guile! M-Master, don’t listen to his baseless rumor!”

 

It’s not a rumor if it’s coming from the guy himself, though.

I see, I see, so Pochi had been THAT worried for me, huh… heh heh, heh heh heh… I’ll use this story to tease her as much as I can tonight.

I sipped my beer while thinking about things.
Guile stood up; he seemed to have already gotten drunk, what with him being unsteady on his feet.

 

“Oh, yeah! You bastards, listen up! This Poer dude… is SUPER AWESOME! He just shot down two-hundred Blazing Dragons with his magic – without even taking a step back!”

 

…And so he proceeded to tell an embarrassing story of me.

At times like this, Pochi would always get angry – ‘Why didn’t you include my part?!’ and stuff.

About time she fumed up now… Any second now…

…Huh?

 

“What’re you doing with that giant egg, Shiro?”

 

“It’s today’s main dish, sir! I got it from the shopkeeper!”

 

“…You’re gonna EAT the whole thing?”

 

Pochi was technically an avian now; wouldn’t this be considered cannibalism?

 

“Hmm… I wanted to eat it at first, but now that I got it here… I feel like I’m losing my appetite, sir.”

 

Hmm, she’s actually trying not to eat her own kind.
Not bad.

 

“Then pass that over to me! It’ll go great with my beer!”

 

“NO! This is mine!”

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“C’mon, it’s not like you’re gonna eat it!”

 

“T-this is… oh, I know! I’m saving this to take back home!”

 

I’m pretty sure she’s gonna keep it until it goes bad, though.

 

“AND THEN! He used not ten – not hundred – but a thousand spells to fight those oversized lizards!!”

 

“”OOOHHH!!””

 

Everyone seemed fascinated by Guile’s exaggerated tale of my heroism; even Bright had his eyes sparkling.

Ferris, on the other hand… she had gotten herself drunk on beer while we weren’t looking.

I cast Recover on her.
As a result, she instantly sobered up and fell asleep right on her table.

 

“Thousand Magician… that’s it! We’ll call him Thousand Magician! Poer the Thousand Magician!!”

 

“Huh?!”

 

If I hadn’t heard that wrong… Guile had just said the historical nickname of Holy Warrior Poer.

 

“”THOUSAND MAGICIAN! THOUSAND MAGICIAN! THOUSAND MAGICIAN!””

 

Sheer enthusiasm shook the late-night tavern; this very moment made its mark on the era… no, on history itself.

…I see, I see.

Looks like I can’t run away anymore.

 

“You’re so amazing, Instructor Poer!”

 

This, people… this was the moment Holy Warrior Poer-

 

“-Excuse me! Another plate of these pickles, please!”

 

Yes…

This was the moment the Holy Warrior was born – the same moment his glutton of a Familiar ordered more pickles.

 

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