Shamer

CH 1.11

I have been bullied every day since the day that my friendship with Touya broke.

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Everyday I find all kinds of abusive comments written on my desk, and even if I erase them, they are written again a few minutes later.
Naturally, no matter who I talk to, everyone ignores me.
When I went into the bathroom, I was doused with a bucket of water, as if it was an imitation of a comic book or TV drama.
All of this was done by Touya’s order.

This went on for a month, and my body and mind were in shambles.

…But I still continued to go to school.

The reason for this was because I wanted to talk to Touya and Ruri again.”

I was bullied by Touya and told not to get involved with them again, but I wanted one last chance to talk to him.

Even if he doesn’t forgive me, I don’t care.
At the very least, I wanted to apologize for what I had done.

With this in mind, I continued to talk to Touya every day despite the bullying, but he never responded.
I tried to talk to Ruri in the same way, but I was blocked by my classmates and couldn’t even get close to her.

I don’t think Ruri told Touya about my confession, though.

As a childhood friend who has spent a lot of time together, I just couldn’t believe that she would do something like that.

Anyway, no matter how many times they avoided me or ignored me, I kept talking to them.

“Kinu, will you please stop it?”

After school, behind the school building.
Touya was glaring at me.

I kept talking to Touya today, and he asked me to talk to him after school behind the school building.

I was happy to finally have a chance to talk to him, but it seemed that he called me to the back of the school building to stop me from acting one-sidedly.

“You talk to me day in and day out and never get tired of it, and even though I told you not to get involved, you do the same thing to Ruri.”

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“I just wanted to apologize properly to both of you…”

“We don’t need it.
I say again, don’t ever get involved with us again.”

Touya told me this and turned to leave from the back of the school building.

I felt a little uncomfortable with him like that.
…No, it wasn’t just now.
Even on the day he told me he was done with me, I felt an inexpressible pull toward Touya.

“Hey, Touya.
What’s going on? Umm… I have done the worst thing to you…but…I don’t think it’s right for me to say this… but, this doesn’t seem like you.”

“Not like me…?”

Touya turned around and approached me, glaring sharply at me.

Next, he grabbed my collar and pushed me straight against the wall.

“Kuh!”

I received a big impact on my back and my voice leaked out.
Touya was much taller than me and has a thin but strong body.
I couldn’t move at all thanks to him.

“It was your fault for confessing your feelings to Ruri in the first place.
And yet it’s not like me to be mad at you? Don’t be ridiculous!”

“N-No… that’s not what I’m trying to say…”

“Shut up.”

Touya said in a frightening manner and threw me to the ground.

I crashed into the ground.
Ouch…

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“…I get it.
If you say I’m not being myself these days, I’ll tell Kinu the truth.”

Touya looked down on me with disdain.

The expression on his face at that time was the scariest I have ever seen in our time together.

What the heck was the truth…?

In the midst of my wondering, he began to speak.

“I hated you from the moment I met you, Kinu.
You are always by my side even though you are inferior to me in every way.”

“!? W-What are you talking about!? I’ve been spending all this time with you!”

Suddenly, Touya’s words confused me.

Because it was impossible.
We’ve been together since we were little, and we’ve played soccer on the same team for a long time.
And yet, I couldn’t believe that Touya disliked me…

“I’m saying that I didn’t like the fact that we were together all the time.
But I had no choice but to stay with you because Ruri was there.
The truth is, I didn’t want to be with you even for one second.”

“You’re lying… that has to be a lie…”

I muttered to myself, and Touya shook his head from side to side.

“It wasn’t a lie.
In the past and now, I hate Kinu.”

Touya stared at me and made it clear.

So I knew… whether I liked it or not.
I knew that Touya really didn’t like me.

“So don’t come near me or my girlfriend again.”

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As if to finish me off, he said those words.
I couldn’t say anything back to him.

After that, Touya tried to leave, as if he had nothing more to say to me.

“W-Wait a minute! Let me ask you one last thing!”

“…What? I have nothing more to say to you.”

Touya’s eyes were so cold that I felt frozen when he looked at me.

I was afraid…but there was something I really needed to ask him.

“Was it really Ruri who told you about my confession?”

“Of course it was.
Who else could it be?”

“N-No way… But, she isn’t that kind of person…”

Even after hearing Touya’s answer, I, who had been with Ruri for a long time, could not believe that she would tell anyone that I had confessed to her.

“How do you know what kind of person she is? How can you be so sure? In fact, Ruri might not even like you.”

“Eh…”

He said that Ruri doesn’t like me… I’d like to think that was impossible, but if Touya doesn’t like me, then maybe she doesn’t either…There was a part of me that thought that way.

I guess I shouldn’t have said this.
Oh well, whatever.

Touya said, looking disinterested.

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“I’ll see you later, Kinu.”

With that, he left the back of the school building.

I was unable to move because I couldn’t sort out my feelings.

“…what the heck is going on already?”

I was at a loss for words, and I held my head in my hands.

Touya never liked me and maybe Ruri didn’t like me either.

If Ruri really dislikes me…

I was the only one who thought we were dear friends and childhood buddies.

“I guess that’s what retribution is all about…”

I got what I deserved for betraying my best friend.
I got exactly what I deserved.

My best friend has cut me off, and my childhood friend, the one I’ve always loved, might not even like me.

“…What am I supposed to do?”

The words I muttered as if asking for help were not heard by anyone.

 

The next day, I didn’t go to school.

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