Pity Party(bxb)

{Kimi wa dekinai dekinai dekinai ko

Kono yon de ichiban de dekinai ko}

-Hatsune Miku.

…..

Shinso woke up just after the metal alarm clock hit the floor. Another shitty day he sings in his head while doing the fresh ups. His step mom was drinking her morning green tea while reading some company documents. ”Ah you
e awake. Go finish your breakfast and head to school. ” Just a typical mother lecture. But Shinso knew that his stepmom was never really fond of him. He realized that the moment he came out.

Yes he was gay. Or a fag. According to those popular jocks at his school. A curse that those religious people strictly avoid. A sinner. Not that Shinso really mind. He was useless anyways gay or nah. When he came out to his parent (step mom and dad) he knew he was already hated. Step mom just scrunched he nose in disgust maybe. His dad just said a line.

”Thank god she(his real mom) died before hearing this. ”

Shinso packs his bag and leaves for school. He always walks to school as his school was just some meters away. There he meets with his best friend Lana. Well she never confirmed the best friend thing but its no harm to think something positive.

”What class do you have on the first period? ” Shinso asks Lana while getting books and stuff from his locker. ”Math ” Lana answers solemnly.

”Ah shit. Ive biology. Won be able to see you in class. ” Shin sighs. ”Ill see you in the break time then. ” Shin beams. ”Hmm ” was his so called best friends solemn answer.

Shinso heads for his class. While walking he faces numerous slangs thrown by those normal people who feel disgusted just by his presence. Its a normal phenomenon for him as those mighty jocks twist his ribs once in week for fun not to mention those punches and kicks. Hes useless anyways.

He enters his class and as usual takes his seat on a cornered table at the end of the class. His grades were average. But he really wanted to become something useful. So he tried to work hard. But his damn depression hinders his study a lot. One moment hes all ambitious. The next universe reminds him his pity and pathetic self which crumbles his self confidence in a minute. Whatever hes attentive to his class which has actually become his habit.

During break Shinso enters the cafeteria and as usual he goes to Lana with his food. Unusually Lana was sitting with his boyfriend and his boyfriends best friend. Shinso was nervous but he sits at that table anyways thinking his friend was there.

Lana gave shin tiniest of her attention and it felt like he was alone the whole break time. Lanas boyfriend was giving him quick glances and when the break time was over he told Lana something which made her frown and gloomy. Shin shrugged it all.

Shin came out to Lana after his parents. He believed that she would be different. But to his utter disappointment she behaved just like others. And after he came out to her the whole school got to know god knows how. But their friendship never really ended and Lana never really cared for his sexuality.

When school is over shin waits for Lana at the main gate. He was happy to see her but she arrives looking all pissed off. Shin asks what happened and what she answers leave shinso heavily shocked.

”You really wanna steal my boyfriend that much? ”

”What? I don understand Lan..what are you saying? ”

”Exactly what youve heard. ”

”Listen, just because Im gay doesn mean i try to jump on every man i see. And I don know what proofs made you believe that i was flirting with your boyfriend. He is false accusing me. ”

”Don try to frame him shin. And i don care if you
e gay or not just stay away from any man i meet. ”

Those words were piercing his heart like needles. How could she think like that about me? Feeling utterly broke he nods his head with an inaudible ”ok ”.

”And shin i want you to stay away from me whenever Im with my boyfriend and friends. If Im alone then you can talk to me. ” Lana says with a sweet smile. But he was still hurt. Nevertheless he just shrugs it off thinking its his luck that he at least got one friend. He didn wanna be lonely.

Shinso was never really pretty or handsome. Even gay people have their charms but Shinso got none. He was skinny and pale. He got that typical Asian eyes as his birth mother was Asian. Shin came from a Korean mother and an American father. Even though he was half Korean, he was far from Koreans beauty standard.

Its not like he was a funny guy. With no friends to talk to he eventually became a socially awkward boy who stutters while talking with a stranger.

Shin comes home with a sour but ok mood and wraps himself in those white bed sheets for the rest of the day.

When shin wakes up it was past 8. He goes downstairs to eat but faces some lovey dovey moments between his parents. It was as usual until his dad calls him unusually.

”Shinso, Ive something important to tell you. ”

Shin looks at his step mom who has a slight touch of discomfort on her face. He was anxious. His dad never really talk to him. So why today?

”What is it? ”

”Your brother is coming to stay here with us. ”