Esa got back to her house. But to her surprise, no one was present in the house. It was dead silence. Esa still felt curious about the text message from an unknown number earlier so she decided to head back to the flower garden.
She went there by taxi. When she arrived at the garden, Esa walked toward the bench that used to be her favorite place to hang around with Satya back then. She sat on the bench and leaned her back while looking at the stars in the night sky.
She closed her eyes, allowing the breeze to sweep her cheeks. She imagined the scenario about Satya who showed up in front of her tonight and stay by her side the following days. How wonderful her days would be when that really happened.
When she was lost in thought, her cell phone rang, waking her from the daze. She opened her eyes reflexively and checked the notification.
[Im watching you… S.]
Seeing the sentence in the text-only made Esa more curious about the sender. She tried her best to ignore it. She didn want to be disappointed ever again. She was a fool if she expected the sender of the text message to be Satya. She was always slapped hard by the harsh reality when she hoped for something.
If only it was really you. No, I must be overthinking. But I believe that you will come to tom me even though Im not certain when you will show up yourself. She thought.
She threw away her phone. However, a notification from her cell phone rang again for the second time.
[Can we meet? S.] It was the same capital letter as before.
Esas eyes fixed on the sentence shown on the screen. She wildly guessed the possibility. She still refused to reply to the message.
Then, all of sudden, a man appeared out of nowhere and sat next to Esa. Esa was too focused on her thoughts that she didn see him. However, she thought that the person must be Galih who always tailed her whenever she go.
”How are you doing, Esa? You look much skinnier than the last time I saw you. ” The man said.
Esa glanced at the man the moment she heard those words. Her mouth hung open. Galih would never say something like that to her. The only person in the universe who talked like that was ….
”Satya, ” Esa muttered. She froze when she realized the identity of the person next to her. She was unable to move her tongue. Not a single word came out of her mouth. Her heart beat even faster.
The man next to Esa faintly smiled. There was sadness radiating from her eyes. ”Are you okay? ”
Esas tears fell down. How come Satya said these words so easily? He acted like Esa was okay meanwhile he left without saying a single word to her back then.
There were many questions that Esa wanted to be asked by the man sitting next to her. And yet, not a single word came out of her mouth. She could only show tears.
He pulled Esa into his arms. His eyes were teary too. But he tried to hide his sadness from her.
”How could you do this to me?! Have you ever thought about my feeling all this time? ” these were the only words she could muster. She still cried in Satyas arms.
”Its my fault. Im so sorry but we can go back to our past. ”
It was a short response but it gave Esa understanding. The reason Satya disappeared for several years and didn have any courage to show up in front of Esa again was this. This man knew both of them couldn stay by Esas side anymore. Thus, he chose to walk away.
The words that came out of Satyas mouth had successfully made Esa to take a slight step back.
”I don know how to explain about this but… ” Satya closed his eyes for a moment and continued, ”we can turn back to our past. ”
When Esa heard those words, she fell into pieces.
”What happened to you? Why do you change so much? ” Esas lips trembled.
Satya took a deep breath. ”I can tell you now. Its not the right time. ” Satya lowered his head as he said this.
”So, when is the right time to tell me the truth? Why did you refuse to tell me about it? At least give me a reason. Why did you leave? I have been waiting for your return only to get this treatment? ” Esa threw a tantrum. She pulled Satyas arm, asking for his explanation. She wanted him to free her heart from all kinds of questions that had disturbed her.
Satya was unable to look at Esas swollen face. Its as if she was flower weather drenched in sadness. Esa who used to be chubby years ago was so much thinner now.
”You look skinnier than before. Are you sure you
e okay? ” Satya suddenly changed the topic. ”Actually… I intended to show up earlier but he suddenly came. ”
”You know about Galih? ”
Satya responded with a nod. ”He is a kind person. He really takes care of you. ”
”How did you know that? Where do get his information? ” Esa furrowed her forehead.
Satya sighed, ”I know how he treats you. ”
Esa reached to Satya and held his hand. ”Please don go anywhere. ” She asked, ”Don leave me again. I don want to be alone. ”
Satya patted Esas back. He tried to calm her down even though he couldn calm down himself. He didn know what to say. From time to time, a tightness would pass through his chest. He tried to get back his expression. He didn want Esa to see his pitiful look. He could not let this woman know about the truth and caused her to feel even more disappointed.
”Why don you say anything? Why don you answer my question? I love you, Satya. I want to stay by your side, forever. ”
Satya stiffened. He patted Esas head. He then pulled her into his embrace. He was about to cry.
”Where have you been all this time? ” Esa whispered, ”Why did you leave me? How could you do this to me? You left me without saying anything. Every time I went to your house, you weren there. Your house was always empty. Even your family refused to tell me about your whereabouts. Why did you do this to me? ” she vented all her frustration. ”What mistake did I do to you? Are you trying to get revenge on me by doing that? ”
Satya pushed Esa away from his embrace. ”You didn do anything wrong. Im the one who should take the blame. I was such a coward back then. Please forgive me. ” He felt regret. She wiped Esas tears.
”Please give me a reason. Why did you do this? Where did you disappear to all these years? ” she repeated the same questions.
Satya lowered his head,
”One day youll find the answer you
e looking for. But not for now. ”
Esa sighed, ”I thought I would have the answer to all the questions that had been bugging me all this time when you came to me but I was wrong. All that happened were beyond my expectation. ” Esa smiled wryly. She was clearly disappointed with the reality.
”I didn mean to make you feel this way. I—I … ”
”Enough. Im such a fool for putting high hope. It turns out that youve changed. You
e not like you used to be. ” She said weakly.
Satya reached out to Esa. To his surprise, Esa avoided him. Their first encounter since the last time they met was waste of time. Esas dream was crushed down by the painful reality. She didn get the answer she was looking for. Instead of curing her broken heart, this encounter caused Esa to feel even more pain.
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