Learning how to say goodbye to you

kid? Do you need anything?

He sounded oddly concerned for me, not as cocky and annoyed as usual, he sounded rather caring, and…his voice sounded warm…How pathetic…Even a servant of heaven, the gatekeeper stuck in between heaven and hell, felt bad for me. He pities me, he looks down on me…

Im alright…

Are you sure? You started trembling like ass, I thought you had a heart attack…I got a little worried for a minute… ”

His voice started to fade and quiet down at the end of his sentence. I smiled a bit through my tears as I started to reconstruct my posture that had broken down as these memories flooded my head. I was sitting on the ground, knees bent to secure my head. I mustve looked like a pathetic little piece of shit.

I took another deep breath, closing my eyes while facing up to the sky. The bright sun rays tickled my skin while blinding my already closed eyes. I sighed again and let the sun warm up my shaken body.

Im sorry, I just got overwhelmed with the flashbacks that flooded my mind. Im fine now.

Are you sure?

Yes, I am.

Okay, stay safe when meeting your little lover. Ill be going back to my duties now.

Okay. See ya.

I heard a chuckle before it became silent again. I heaved a sigh finally opening my eyes before jumping over the backyard fence. I climbed over it in a swift motion before looking around again to orientate myself with my current surroundings. I don completely remember where I went that day, my memory was blurry because of how furious I was. I just stomped away from my house and ran in any direction, staring at the ground cursing at my mothers judgment and behavior. Oh, how stupid little me was, it was kinda funny. I chuckled at my own memories as I followed the path going deep into the forest, I could feel my pace speeding up. I didn start running consciously which made me feel sure about my instinct. I was following the right way to see him again. The closer I got to the place where we met, the faster I ran. I was chasing my own past. The past I want to change, the past I want to forget.

”Hahahaha! This is so much fun! ”

Ciel!

I started sprinting at my limit and ran as if my life had depended on it. His voice, it must be him, I would have bet my life on it!

”Sorry, Ciel but we have to go back now. ”

”But- ”

”No buts, we can come again tomorrow. ”

No! Please don leave! I just want to see you again. Just once, just one last time! Please, Im begging you, please don leave! Don leave, Ciel!

”Ciel! ”

I called out as I saw his beautiful blueish black hair, it had a blueish tint when the sunlight had shown on it. Even now, in this state, he did look gorgeous! I couldn let him leave like that! No, not like this and not now!

Ciel turned around after hearing me shout his name, I was so far away but he still heard me. He looked around with a confused expression as I heard his dad say:

”Come on, Mommys waiting for us. ”

”Okay, Daddy! ”

Ciel answered, hoping after his dad who took a hold of his hand. His father gently led him away from the cliff as they watched the sunset. The sky did look mesmerizing. It had a purple base with a lot of hot pink and red tints, the clouds were as white as snow but blended in with the sky, creating a perfect gradient spectrum of colors. But no matter how beautiful the sky looked, it couldn compete with that look in your eyes, the look in your eyes the day the stars fell…

If I had just been faster, I wouldn have missed him…

”Fuck, **, **… ”

I cursed while hitting a tree on my left in frustration, staring at the ground with nothing but regret and anger at my own weakness.

Are you alright, Michael?

The gatekeepers voice asked me. Great, now hes back.

Aye, Im just trying to help you, you know?

Help me? How nice of you.

Don get sarcastic with me now, will ya?

I clicked my tongue at him and looked at my hand that was throbbing and stinging from hitting a mere tree. My bodys the problem! Now that I think about it, my previous body was way stronger and tougher! A mere tree would have never stung that badly when I hit it! Thats it! I have to improve my physique! Not only my mind and behavior but also my physique!

Are you okay? Did you hit your head or something?

Yes, I am fine, I also didn hit my head, you dumb shit!

Who
e you calling a dumb shit, you dumbass!

You obviously! Who else could I mean?

Hmpf!

A pout, seriously? Seems like you aren as old as you try to behave as.

When I died I was 20, Im still older than you!

Now, this sounds really childish, it seems like you are mentally younger than me!

Excuse you, you rude brick!

I couldn help but smile, it did feel good to talk to someone like him. I heaved a sigh, rubbing my right thumb over my slightly swollen hand and was about to take my leave as suddenly a strong wind caught up to me. The wind got sucked in one particular spot that formed a black hole that sucked everything. It only caused a huge wind, it looked like a tornado but turned to the side, it looked like a portal. What was that?

Suddenly the a huge ray of light came out of that hole, its brightness easily blinded me, I held my arms up for protection and closed my eyes, turning my head away. I didn know what was happening but that hole, it felt so mesmerizing…

I didn know what came over me but my body started moving closer to it, the closer I got the more it started to suck me in. My clothes started to tear and rip from the strong suction that came from within the hole.

Soon, I stood right in front of it, awaiting what will happen to me now that I stood on the edge of the cliff face to face with a heavenly phenomenon.

”Michael… ”

Ciel? Ciel is that you?

”Help me Michael… ”

He needs help? What is happening? Ciel? Ciel, where are you?

”Im here Michael, come to me… ”

The voice coming out of the hole demanded. It was clearly Ciels voice but why was I scared to enter? What held me back? Ciel, he was right in front of me! I want to see him, I want to hold him, I want to hold him close to me and never let go again. I reached out until my right hand had touched the source of Ciels voice but as soon as I did, everything around me darkened, my surroundings vanished and all that was left around me was nothing but darkness and emptiness. It was silent, completely silent, where was I? What has happened to me?

”Ciel, where are you? ”