I’m Not Going to Be Bullied By a Girl

“I cant believe you guys even lost to Thailand and it was even 1:5! Screw all of you!”

Xiao Qin and I could both hear these angry shouts coming from the shoemakers shop as we arrived at the market.

“Ye Lin classmate, the shoemaker uncle would only sell listening devices to those who I introduce.” Xiao Qin said carefully, “But hes always in a bad mood every time the national team loses, so today…”

For someone supposedly living in seclusion, the shoemaker uncles rage towards the Chinese mens soccer team is a bit too public.

“And they even said they would conquer Asia and then the world. It looks like Ill never be able to see them in the second round of the world cup in my lifetime. And you say you would achieve the Chinese dream, screw that, it looks like my dad died under your feet in vain.”

“Huh?” I couldnt help but ask Xiao Qin, “Did the shoemakers dad get into fight with the Chinese mens team and got kicked to death?”

“No, but I heard after he barely survived a heart attack, he went to watch a world cup qualification match and…. died from anger.”

So you really need to be more cautious when watching soccer. Cherish your life and stay away from national soccer. I remember before my grandfather passed away he grabbed onto my dads hands and said he had two final wishes. One was for him to get remarried, and the other was to burn a copy of the recording of the game if China ever makes it to the top 16 in the world cup.

Not a single one of his wishes has come true yet. There might be some hope about my dad getting remarried; Im doing my best to get him together with Auntie Ren, but I cant do anything about the Chinese soccer team. Please dont blame me. In the worst case, I could burn a recording of the female soccer team.

“Um, Ye Lin classmate, who do you want to eavesdrop on with the listening device, eavesdropping on others is illegal…”

Youre the only one who has no right to tell me that! Werent you the one who was happily eavesdropping on my conversations with my dad? You even found out that Ai Mi was my sister.

Xiao Qin clenched a fist and held it in front of her chest, then said full of conviction:

“Its not illegal for me to eavesdrop on Ye Lin classmate, because Ive been given permission.”

“What? When did I give you permission?”

“…. in my dreams.”

“Then please get married with me in your dreams and stop bothering me.”

Xiao Qin suddenly lowered her head and I thought I accidentally hurt her, but on a closer look, it seems she was embarrassed.

A dream inside a dream? Can you not like me to such an exaggerated extent?

“I also once dreamed Ye Lin classmate was turned into a dachshund by aliens, but at least that dream has a happy ending…”

How is it a happy ending if I turn into a dog? And why is it a dachshund? I would rather turn into a Husky, the same breed as Obama, then a dachshund! Or are even the aliens laughing at my short legs?

“In dreams, theres also a chance I would be a boy and Ye Lin classmate would be a girl… then the details gets a bit embarrassing, I… cant really say it out loud.”

I mean the premise itself is already embarrassing.

“The female Ye Lin classmate in my dreams always has a delicate face, but the worst is that the female Ye Lin classmate still has larger breasts than me…”

Didnt you just say it was embarrassing to tell me the details? Besides, these are chest muscles, understand?

“Last night when I saw the female Ye Lin classmate with breasts almost as large as Gong CaiCai, I couldnt control myself and grabbed and rubbed them in a fit of anger. Ye Lin classmates bashful face was too cute…”

If Im not mistaken, I believe I heard Xiao Qin swallow her saliva.

So shes getting revenge on me in her mind! Are you harboring negative feelings because I rubbed your chest, so now youre rubbing my chest in your dreams? I wont allow you to turn my gender into a female into your dreams anymore! Even I had breasts as large as Gong CaiCai, I still cant get married with this face.

The shoemaker uncle was still throwing stuff around in his store.

“Whats the point of spending a lot of money to raise these guys, even North Korea plays better than them. If I was the chairman, I would send all of them to the coal mines… I dont believe I cant find eleven good soccer players out of 1.3 billion people.”

The door to the shoemaker shop was closed. There was a business woman in heels who wanted to get her shoes fixed, but staggered away after hearing all the cursing going on inside.

Xiao Qin advised me: “The shoemaker uncle will ignore us if we try to buy a listening device now. How about lets go upstairs to eat before my mom comes home, and then you could eat me too…”

Theres no way I would play such a dangerous game when Auntie Ren could come home at any time, or I would be the one to get a heart attack like the shoemaker uncles dad! I also want to realize my grandfathers last wishes. China may not be able to make it into the top 16, but currently theres still chance my dad could get remarried, so I dont want Auntie Ren to get ruin her body from anger.

Thus I didnt go along with Xiao Qins request, but brought her to a supermarket. I bought hawthorn, canned mandarin, folic acid supplements, and iron and zinc supplements (although it says its beneficial for pregnant women, it doesnt state its only for pregnant women).

Xiao Qin didnt know what was going on and looked at me suspiciously from behind.

As I was at the checkout counter, it seems the cashier auntie wasnt too familiar with Xiao Qin. Even though Xiao Qin lives nearby, she probably doesnt come here often to shop.

Im not sure if there items were overprices, but there werent many people in the store. The cashier didnt say anything when scanning the canned fruit, but when she got to the supplements, she looked at me. Then she looked at Xiao Qin, who didnt look that bright, who was currently mesmerized by a bag of snacks.

“Is that your girlfriend?” The cashier asked in an interrogative tone.

“I guess.”

The cashier then lowered her voice and asked: “Are you not going to abort it?”

“What?”

“Sigh, you youngsters. The pharmacy is right across the street, its not much more effort to buy some condoms.”

Wow, this cashier is way too meddlesome, no wonder no one shops here. Do you think the supplements are for my girlfriend? do you think shes pregnant with my child at such a young age and Im planning on letting her give birth?

“No.” I waved my hands, I thought if the cashier doesnt recognize Xiao Qin, then she might not know Auntie Ren either, “Its not my girlfriend whos pregnant, but her mom. But her mom doesnt know yet…”

The cashier was shocked, “How would you know if her mother doesnt know? Dont tell me you…”

I quickly denied it: “No way, it was my old….”

I wanted to say myold man, but it would be too shocking, so I changed my sentence tomy old father-in-law was still vigorous…

The cashier had eyes of doubt and wondered why my father-in-law wasnt the one to buy the supplements. She had a lot of questions but no answers.

Xiao Qin came towards me at this time holding the ¥3 bag of snacks and asked me carefully:

“Ye Lin classmate, can you buy this for me?”

She had eyes as pitiful as Bambis.

I handed the bag to the cashier, but I dont know what she was thinking and said:

“Young lady, the world is dangerous, you have to be careful.”

Xiao Qin didnt understand and grabbed onto my arm with a smile:

“Ye Lin classmate treats me well, we will definitely get married in the future.”

“Is that so?” the cashier had a look of disbelief, “It would be good if your mother doesnt get in the way.”

It seems that line hit Xiao Qins sore spot and she said:

“While my mom doesnt agree right now… she will definitely agree in the future. Ye Lin classmate is buying the stuff my mom likes to eat to get along with my mom!”

The cashier snorted, “I think they already get along too well.”

Damn, this cashier is way too gossipy, no wonder theres no one here. If Xiao Qin wasnt here, theres no way I would let this go this easily.

After taking the change, I viciously glared at the cashier before leaving with Xiao Qin.

The cashier soliloquized: “The world is treacherous… people have the guts to do anything…”

I carried the stuff and ate dinner with Xiao Qin at a nearby restaurant. Then I handed the bags to Xiao Qin and told her to bring it home for Auntie Ren. But I told her to say she bought it and not mention my name.

“Why not? My mom wont be unhappy simply because you were the one who bought it. And are you sure you dont want to come up with me?”

“Yeah, Im not going up.” I said, “Will the shoemaker uncle sell me the listening device as long as I mention your name?”

“Thats right, although he may ask you a few questions about me to test you, but it should be easy for you. Are you sure you dont want to come to sleep… no, sit for a while?”