I’m Not Going to Be Bullied By a Girl

Slap.

A loud slap.

The class leader pulled out the bikini I accidentally left in the bag and slapped it on my face.

The class leader left the bag under the tree and walked away without looking back.

“You can ask whoever likes wearing those shameful clothes to help fix your uniform.”

Ah, shit… its all because of Xiao Qin, I forgot that was in there.

I thought the class leader was talking about the coupons, so I said too much and made her misunderstand I really wanted to give her a bikini.

I even told her to wear it together with her brother and show it to me.

An awful misunderstanding. Even though the bikini is actually for your brother, but he would never help me fix my uniform!

It looks like my reputation with the class leader dropped again. Why is it so hard to raise my reputation in the one place where I actually want to increase it?

In any case, keeping a bikini is like a hot potato. I should hand it over to Shu Zhe as soon as possible.

The worst part was that the break was almost over. During biology class, Xiao Qin began telling me a joke.

“Ye Lin classmate, Ive been collecting a lot of source materials to draw manga and some of them have some pretty good jokes.”

“I could tell you one thats really funny, but make sure to not laugh out loud in class.”

She began to speak without caring if I even wanted to hear it:

“A hunter went hunting in a forest and suddenly saw a black bear.”

“He raised his gun and fired a shot at the bear, but he missed and got caught by the bear.”

Xiao Qin already began laughing while clutching her belly after she only said two lines.

“Hahaha… then the bear said: Ill give you two choices. One, get eaten by me or two, give me a blow job.” (TN: In Chinese, the literal line says blow a trumpet, which is slang for blow job)

“The hunter thought: Its good as long as he could stay alive, so he gave the bear a blow job…”

Whats up with this dirty joke, please stop saying anymore. Dont you have any principles?

The rest of the joke was basically talking about how every time the hunter brought more firepower to take down the bear, he would get caught and made to give the bear a blow job. Finally, the bear asked in bewilderment:

“Do you come to hunt or to give blow jobs?”

Xiao Qin kept laughing non-stop after telling me the joke. She would have been admonished by the teacher if she didnt hide behind a textbook.

I had a serious face and didnt know what was so funny.

“Haha… why arent you laughing? Its so funny…”

“How is it funny?”

“Its funny… because… the hunter goes hunting, but why does he carry a trumpet with him everywhere? The bear knows how to talk and is even a music lover… what a nonsensical joke.”

After class, Xiao Qin also told the joke to the class leader. The class leader quickly covered her mouth halfway through the joke, then she looked at me angrily as if I was the one who taught it to her.

It seems like Xiao Qin exists purely to distract me so I would make mistakes. I cant forget to hand over the bikini this time.

I called Shu Zhe out next to the school garden. He took the bikini while grumbling about how I cost him money.

“Stop blabbering.” I said, “Make sure your sister doesnt see this underwear or were both dead meat.”

Shu Zhe was baffled: “I cant show any of the underwear to my sister.”

Its not the same for this pair. If the class leader sees a different pair, I could still push it off as Shu Zhes hobby, but if the class leader sees the bikini, she would immediately know I was the one who gave it to Shu Zhe!

The sister didnt accept it, so I gave it to her brother. The class leader would definitely think Im a massive pervert and blow my brains out.

After I finished the underwear business, I remembered about the balloon business recommended by Uncle Fireball.

Ive already bought the balloons and lipstick, so the only thing missing is Shu Zhe.

I wanted Shu Zhe to go to my house to blow balloons, but wasnt sure how to split the money. I havent thought it through fully yet so I hesitated a bit.

At this time, Loud Mouth came near us and said:

“You guys have a pretty good relationship, Ive seen you guys together a lot lately.”

Shu Zhe immediately began entering his kiss ass mode:

“Oh its sis Yu Hong, it seems you lost some weight.”

Loud Mouth didnt take his flattery seriously and left with a laugh.

I thought inside: You talk to her so affectionately, but you still call her Loud Mouth behind her back.

I originally wanted to say: “Come to my house after school to blow balloons”, but because Loud Mouth came by, plus Xiao Qins joke from earlier, I accidentally said:

“Come to my house after school to give me a blow job.”

Shu Zhe was shocked and terrified and almost swallowed his chewing gum.

“Ye, bro Ye Lin, what did you say?”

The sun was shining especially bright and I was kind of dizzy, so I didnt even realize I misspoke.

“Giving me a blow job, dont you need the money?”

“Even if you pay me…”

“Its a surprise that you arent willing…” I raised my eyebrow, “I thought you were already used to working for me.”

“Do all your employees… have to do it?”

“Is it that hard? Even elementary school students can do it.”

Shu Zhe began to tremble.

“How do you know they can do it…. did you… make them do it?”

“Ive seen them do it before.” I said confidently, “But they werent blowing it for me, they were just blowing it for fun among themselves.”

“Blowing it for fun?” Shu Zhe felt he was already out of touch with the current younger generation. He wanted to run, but I held him down by the shoulders since it was disrespectful to leave before his boss finished speaking.

“Bro Ye Lin, let me go. I wont do it, no matter what.”

“Why not, isnt it really simple?”

“Its not simple and its way too perverted.”

“Do you have the right to say its perverted when you wear a bikini to school? Ill give you ¥50 for blowing once, so its easy money.”

“What, only ¥50?”

I cant believe he thinks ¥50 is too less for blowing a balloon…

“Oh right, you only get ¥50 if you put on lipstick, otherwise its only ¥20…”

“¥20? Are you looking down on me?”

“Well, you need to leave a lip print to get ¥50.”

“You want me to leave lip prints on that…?”

Shu Zhe tried his best to break free of my grip, but to no avail.

“Im not going. I wont do it even if I die.”

“Huh, do you have any negative feelings towards my house? Then, we could find a place with no one around and you can secretly blow it for me.”

“At… school?” Shu Zhes panicked expression looks as if he just escaped from the sinking Titanic.

Shu Zhe was on the verge of tears after he realized he couldnt escape from my grasps.

“Bro Ye Lin, please forgive me… you should let my sister do that kind of stuff for you…”

I snorted, “How? Theres no way she would agree.”

“Yea… normally it would be impossible, thats why you have to build up a relationship with her first…”

Huh, why would we build a relationship to blow a balloon?

“And never mention this in front of her. And you have to listen to my sister and think of her first…”

Its only blowing a balloon, why does it have to be so complicated?

“Then when my sister thinks you deserve a reward and asks what you want to eat or what you want, you would pretend to be troubled and wait for her to talk with you…”

Damn, thats complicated. Is this accumulated from your years of experience from dealing with your sister?

“Then at this time, you should abashedly say that your friends girlfriends all blow it for them…”

Ah, my friends are mostly from the basketball team. Do their families all run adult goods stores?

“My sister would be upset after you tell her, but dont argue with her. You have to blame yourself and call yourself a pervert. Then you call your friends all perverts and say you have to stop being friends with them.”

“Other than blaming yourself, you have to show my sister your devotion. You have to say you were weak and fell prey to the temptations of society…”

“It might not be a 100% success rate, but as long as you invoke her motherly instincts, it would be possible…”

What would be possible? Why would blowing a balloon be more annoying than getting a wife? I could blow it myself, but I dont want to lie to the customers.

“Hey, youre making me confused. The customers wont be happy if its not you blowing it.”

“Customers?” Shu Zhe widened his eyes, “You want me to blow customers for only ¥50?”

“Theres no way I would agree. Cilantro Buns said he would give me ¥4000 to go to a hotel with him, but I refused.”

No shit, youre a trap, so you would get revealed.

“Bro Ye Lin, youre awful…”

Shu Zhe began to sob for some reason.

“Hey, whats going on? Do you have to be that sad for blowing a balloon?”

“Blowing a balloon, didnt you say a blow job?”

“Huh, did I say blow job?”

“Is it a real balloon or is it slang for something else?”

“Of course, its a real balloon…”

“Ye Lin, you pissed me off.”

Shu Zhe hit my chest as hard as he could and ran off.

Ah, it doesnt hurt at all. But why is nothing going my way today…?