Chapter 9: What the hell

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Translator: Soafp

The day after I exposed Shiraki.

I was isolated in the classroom.

Why are they avoiding me?

Do they think that if they get involved with me, I’ll do something to them?

I was attacked, so I just fought back, but was there something wrong with that?

Thinking like that.

“Shinzaki-kun, I’m sorry, but can you help me hand out these printouts?”

It was the class chairman, Tsukihama and Yuzuki, who approached me.

Ah, now that I think about it, I was just being taken advantage of by the chairperson.

When I became aware of this, my mouth started to speak on its own.

” Eh? Why do I have to hand them out? Isn’t that the chairman’s job?”

Tsukihama looked a little puzzled and said

“I-I’m sorry.
You’re right, there’s no need for Shinzaki-kun to help, right?”

Saying that, Tsukihama started handing out the printouts by himself.

All of my classmates have a drawn look on their faces.

Why are they making such faces?

I just said the right thing.

Next, Himari called out to me.

“Y-Yusei!”

It was quite loud.

I turned to Himari, ears perking up, as she spoke loudly in my ear.

“What?”

Himari put her hand on her chest and took a deep breath as if she was nervous.

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After a little while, the tension may have eased up and she looked determined.

“Do you want to go home with me today?”

“I’m sorry, I’ll go home alone.”

I don’t need to be the good person anymore.

So there is nothing left to be done but to mend the situation now.

And I don’t want to get into unnecessary trouble with other people, no matter how good person I may be anymore.

“I-I see.
I’m sorry.”

Himari said so with a sad expression on her face.

I didn’t think anything of it.

Maybe my heart is already completely broken, I thought to myself.

But I dismissed the thought as no longer relevant to me.

At that moment, I noticed a gaze glancing at me.

I looked around to see who it was.

I found her.

It was Miyo Shiraki, the person who had dumped me.

I looked at Shiraki with disgust.

She noticed the look and her face turned sad and she took her eyes off of me.

Why is she making that kind of face?

I felt a lot of confusion.

No, why should I care about that?

I am just a victim.

I left the school and walked toward home.

I felt like everyone was avoiding me until after school.

Why is that?

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Well, whatever.

“Yu-Yusei!”

Is that Himari?

“Himari, didn’t I tell you I was going home alone?”

I didn’t even look back and called out to my childhood friend who was calling out to me from behind.

“I-Isn’t it okay! I mean, our houses are so close together!”

Yes, my house and Himari’s house are so close that it only takes three minutes to walk to each other’s house.

We used to go to each other’s houses and play together.

I got emotional for a bit.

It would not happen again from now on.

In the end, I ended up going home with Himari.

We walked in silence.

I had noticed that Himari was trying to talk to me on the way, but she stopped in the end.

I was almost at the crossroads when Himari called out to me as if she had made up her mind.

“Y-you know!”

It was a little annoying, I thought, and asked back.

“What?”

Himari was a little frightened when she heard my grumpy voice.

“W-why did you do that?”

It’s that again.

“Why? It’s revenge.
I was just taking back what was done to me.
What’s wrong with that?”

“Revenge brings nothing!”

Himari said desperately.

“That’s not true? My heart is clear now.”

“But still! Revenge is a bad thing!”

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What’s wrong with that?

They all say no, don’t, you can’t.

Then let’s hear why.

“Why not?”

“Eh?”

Himari’s face was distorted as if she was confused.

“Like I said, why is what I did wrong?”

“T-That’s it.”

Himari is at a loss for words.

“Then, let’s change the question.
Why is everyone blaming only me?”

Himari looked up with a shock.

“You’re wrong! I didn’t mean it that way!”

What am I wrong about?

“Then what do you mean by that?”

I said coldly.

“I-I just”

Himari looked as if she was about to start crying.

“I just wanted you to go back to your old self, Yusei…”

Ha?

The old me?

That me who is just used, covered with lies and hypocrisy?

Why do I have to be told that by this person?

“What do you know about me?”

My voice comes out a few tones lower than the conversation we just had.

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Himari shrinks back.

“I HAVE! ALWAYS TRIED TO BUILD A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH EVERYONE! I’VE TAKEN ON EVERYTHING THEY’VE ASKED ME TO DO, AND I’VE TAKEN THE INITIATIVE TO DO THINGS THAT EVERYONE ELSE DIDN’T WANT TO DO!”

Emotions overflowed, and there was no stopping them.

“SHIRAKI BETRAYED ME, HIMARI KEPT AVOIDING ME, MY SISTER WAS DUMBFOUNDED AND CONFUSED, AND THE TEACHER BLAMED ME AS IF IT WAS ALL MY FAULT! I TOOK MY MASK OFF WHEN I REACHED MY LIMIT!”

I continued to raise my voice.

“Yu-Yusei, calm down.”

Himari said something to me.

But nothing is coming through to my ears right now.

“WHAT THE HELL! WHAT THE HELL! WHAT THE HELL! ALL OF YOU ARE BLAMING ME!”

“Y-Yusei.”

“I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FACES AGAIN! GET LOST!”

I said that much.

When I looked at Himari in front of me, I saw that she had a lot of tears running down her cheeks.

“I-I’m sorry, Yusei.
I didn’t know that you were in such a tight spot, and I was so selfish.
I won’t bother you anymore.”

Himari started running while crying.

“H-Himari!”

I tried to stop her, but she was fast on her feet and had already gone far away.

“Aaah, damn it!”

I said to no one in particular, and kicked a nearby telephone pole.

My toes were tingling and painful.

Why did I try to stop Himari earlier?

There was nothing I could say to her when I stopped her.

I was left with a feeling of bewilderment in my heart that was different from annoyance.

What the hell.