'What's wrong with me?'


Kicked out of the library in a haphazard way, I squatted on the steps in front of the library, jaws clenching and thinking.
Theo has become strange since the day I collapsed and woke up.
Before that, he was stuck to me, saying he couldn't stay away from me.


But now he was cold to me as if we had gone back to the start again.
Now, we are not together unless something happens.


Well, the reason we stick all day before is that…There isn't a reason actually.
It's just that the day becomes special when we were together.


'I asked why, but there is no answer.
I don't think it's something to dodge, and I have nothing to say.'


I felt like I was the only one who was unusual.
Thanks to this, I was reacting sensitively to anyone talking about Theo.


'I feel like I'm the only weirdo.
I wonder what's going on with that calm look of his?'


I tousled my hair with my hands and lowered my head.
Even I couldn't understand why I was worried about this.


'Now that he's a boy, he can't be best friends with me?? Why is that?'


Theo was now at an age where he would be ashamed to go hand in hand with a girl.

But personally, I'd love to play with boys my age.
So do I understand Theo's feelings?


'No, not long ago, he cried and said he was going to marry me…! What kind of whim is this?'


What are you doing here?”


Biting my lips well, I turned my head at the familiar voice.


[Iris]: Theo!

[Theo]: You're going to catch a cold.


Theo said that and wrapped the shawl around my neck around me.


[Theo]: What's wrong?


I looked at Theo intently.
His neat features must have been Theo I knew.


'But why do you feel so strange these days?'


Theo squinted slightly and tilted his head to the side.
That overlapped with the mischievous laugh that made me pathetic.
Then, for some reason, I felt a lot of sadness and sadness.
My nose ached and hurt.


[Theo]: Iris?

[Iris]: Do you know what month it is?


I asked Theo, who was looking at me with puzzled eyes.
At my somewhat unflattering question, Theo looked at me dumbfoundedly.


[Theo]: It's March.

[Iris]: Why does a kid who knows that wears a scarf?


I asked.
It was a distinctly angry tone, unlike Theo's casual tone.
Theo asked me in bewilderment.


[Theo]: Iris, why are you suddenly angry?


I closed my mouth.
I didn't know why I was angry.
But I couldn't control my feelings.
It was impossible to think rationally.
as if I had become a child.


[Iris]: Winter is over now.
But why are you wearing a scarf?!

[Theo]: Iris?


Theo's face turned white as he drew closer to me.
I cried because of my anger towards Theo.


[Theo]: Shush, why are you crying all of a sudden?


Theo wiped away my tears without knowing English.
I could feel how embarrassed he was right now with his trembling hands.


[Iris]: You…
You suddenly….

[Theo]: Me?


I glared at Theo with a smirk.
Seeing Theo in trouble seemed to ease my mind.


[Theo]: Are you crying because of me?”

[Iris]: Yes!

[Theo]: Why? What's wrong?


'It's because you're not playing with me and now trying to get away.'


The words rose to the end of my throat, but I couldn't speak them out.
I clamped my mouth shut like a mute.


[Theo]: You don't want to talk?


Theo wiped away the tears that are forming in my eyes with his fingertips.
I knew Theo was waiting for my answer, but I didn't want to speak.
It was so childish, so embarrassing.


[Theo]: Can I guess then?

[Iris]: What?


Theo, whose embarrassment had vanished, said to me with a smile on his face.


[Theo]: Why you're crying so badly right now.


This time, the tide had completely turned.
It was me who was panicking, and it was Theo who was relaxing in front of me.
I looked up at him, who somehow looked in a good mood.


[Theo]: You're doing it because I'm estranged from you, right?


Theo was smiling happily.
As if he had finally achieved his purpose.


[Theo]: Really.


When I didn't answer, Theo said so and smiled brightly.
It was the most joyful laugh I have ever seen.
But I couldn't help but smile.
I seemed to know why Theo was so happy.


[Iris]: Is that on purpose?


Theo's laughter sprang up at my question.


[Theo]: What do you mean by that?


I slipped my hands over my stomach.
My stomach felt like it was rumbling.




Now Theo was lying.


'Did you check? How will I react if you walk away?'


[Theo]: I don't want you to be sad.


Theo smiled slightly as he said that.
He ran his hand through my hair behind my ear.


'When did you start lying to me?'


I was so confused that I couldn't say anything to Theo.
My mind became complicated thinking as to ask him why the hell he did this.
But if there's only one thing I can be sure of….


[Theo]: Because I like you.


Maybe I didn't know anything about Theo.
It had never sounded so dangerous.
I chewed my lip finely, unable to find anything to say.
Am I overreacting? You might be wondering how your favorite friend would react if you were gone….


I would never do that.'


I shook my head.
Even if I tried to think about it somehow, Theo's obsessive laughter was unfamiliar.


[Theo]: What's wrong?

[Iris]: Huh?


Theo took a step forward, his head bowed, puzzled by my silence.


[Theo]: You look bad.


I couldn't help but smile casually.
I shook my head and smiled awkwardly.


[Iris]: Nothing.

[Theo]: Are you very offended?


Theo seemed to think that I had been torn down by him.
For me, it was better than that.
For some reason, I had a premonition that I shouldn't let Theo hear my thoughts now.


[Iris]: Why all of a sudden? Now you have the heart to make another friend?


I said, trying to keep my usual attitude as much as possible.


[Theo]: Nope.
I still think you're enough.

[Iris]: But why….

[Theo]: I think you only see me as a child.


Theo grinned and took my hand and led.
Contrary to the way he said he wouldn't hold my hand anymore, I felt like I was falling further and further into a labyrinth.
It wasn't until I got to the room where the stove was lit that Theo let go of my hand.
I stared blankly at Theo's unflinching hand.


[Theo]: Sit down and warm up.


The warm warmth seemed to relax my body.
I was able to face Theo with a little more ease.


[Theo]: You asked if it was on purpose?


Theo, seated across from me, spoke.
I clenched my fist a little and nodded.
Suddenly, a crazy thought comes back to my mind once again.


'Theo is a scheming murderer.'


Before I knew it, I looked at Theo.
I was scared that Theo would find out what I was thinking.
My mind was so complicated that I couldn't discern what was specifically scary.
But even so, the thoughts that had already crept through the water were unstoppable.


'Violence wasn't the only problem.
Maybe a lack of humanity….'


I thought about it and buried my face in the palm of my hand.


'What am I thinking? Even if it was, I decided to help him get better.'


On a subject I promised to believe, a feeling of self-doubt rushed over him, and his heart became nervous.
I was in the same dilemma as last time.


'I thought I had forgotten all about it now.'


Note: tbh I don't understand this part lmao


I searched Theo's face, trying to get rid of the thoughts that were making me nervous.Theo sat in his chair with a peaceful face.
He had his slender fingers on his lap.
Theo's eyes seemed to ask me if I was ready to listen.
I looked him in the eye and stopped thinking about miscellaneous things.


[Theo]: Remember I said I wanted to be part of your family?

[Iris]: Yes, of course.


Because even then I thought you were weird.
He swallowed the words he couldn't help but utter and nodded.


[Theo]: The family I was talking about was that I wanted to be your spouse, not your brother or pet.

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