own depths.

“Look, it really is not scary.”

“En.” His eyes lost their function as they wandered deeper and deeper into darkness and he couldn’t see anything at all.
Even with the man next to him, he could only vaguely make out his figure.
But, he really didn’t feel scared.

“Are you nervous? Why so?” The man’s voice was unhurried and warm.

In the darkness, Ye Zun answered the person holding his hand.
As if answering himself in the abyss of a dream, he wasn’t able to speak dishonestly.

“I’m sorry, it’s because this is basically the first time I’ve held hands with someone like this.
Ever since I was a child, I have never had such close contact with anyone.
Even the grandmother I lived with, we were not very close.
Only when she couldn’t walk, I would go and help her stay up.
But she never liked being supported.
Many times, I would just stand next to her, afraid that she won’t be able to stand steadily in the next second, but she had a cane and as long as she could do it herself, she would push my hand away.” 

“What about friends?”

“I, I don’t have real friends.
When I was young, maybe there were some people I was friendly with for a while, but in the end, for various reasons, I always transferred to another city and we naturally cut contact.
On top of that, I’m not good at interacting with people.
From my childhood to now, I am easily hated.”

“Why do they hate you? You are very cute, I can’t imagine hating you.”

Ye Zun smiled quietly.
“There are many reasons I am hated.
In the beginning, my grandma always locked me in at home to do my homework, so I couldn’t go out and play with others my age.
With that, I naturally couldn’t get close.”

Always transferring halfway through the term, going home immediately after school to do my homework, not being familiar with anyone; people thought I was noble and virtuous*, incompatible with them.
If I was provoked, I wouldn’t fight back, and was taken as a coward.
Anyone would want to fight when they are angry, but the only reason why I never did was because of poverty.
I can not bear the consequences of compensation.”

[T/N: above material pursuits]

“People in the same situation as me also had their reasons for hating me.
Only I was admitted to university, only I did something different from everyone else.
I had a different life, like a traitor.
So I was hated.”

“Even if I did nothing, strangers who didn’t have any conflict of interest still had reasons to hate me.
Everyone in the dormitory watched their variety shows, laughing all day, but only I worked part-time doing commercial shoots.”

“Just because I didn’t do the same thing as everyone, I was naturally hated, and was still told to be grateful to them.”

“But it doesn’t matter.
Because inherently, I too, am incapable of liking them.
There is probably just a problem with my character ba.”

The man lightly squeezed his hand.
“You are very good-looking, was there anyone who expressed their admiration for you? There should be many.”

In the darkness, Ye Zun’s voice paused slightly.
“There was… When I rejected them, I also thought about thanking the other person, and my wording was very careful.
But, maybe I still said something that made them hate me.”

“After they heard my rejection, they smiled and said to me: Do you know? No one will love you.
Even if they love you now, once they get close and understand who you are, in the end, they will hate you without hesitation.
If someone doesn’t hate you now, it is because they don’t understand you enough.”

……”Do you know what everyone says about you behind your back? That haunty, arrogant and withdrawn freak, a baby.”

……”Do you know? No one will love you.
Even if they love you now, once they get close and understand who you are, in the end, they will hate you without hesitation.
If someone doesn’t hate you now, it is because they don’t understand you enough.”

……“Except for me…”

“Even though I ran away immediately, I can’t forget the other person’s eyes at that time, smiling, but serious.”

The footsteps in the dark stopped.
A warm hand lightly covered his eyes.

Ye Zun stopped where he stood, closing his eyes quietly and obediently.
In the darkness created by the man, he was restless but at peace, thinking, did this person understand the real and boring him, and has already started to hate him?

Every time he meets someone new with the same admiring eyes, he will think of those words, spoken with a smile and spoken like a curse.

Even if he never believed it, he may have already been shaken in the bottom of his heart, and he started to think that what the person said might be true, a fact that has been gradually confirmed.

Will this person be the same as others? Speaking to him in a disapproving voice, that all this is because he is too sensitive, that he has a problem with his character.

He was used to it.
It was obviously undisguised malice, confronting him without any concealment.
Everyone else insisted that there must be a problem with his character, which distorted the goodwill of others.

Hu, he really shouldn’t have said these things, but why did he suddenly take the initiative to vocalise all this? Something he never in his life planned to tell anyone.

Lin said in his calm, gentle voice, “Is it a curse born from paranoia, because of the rejection from a loved one and the desire to monopolise? However, I am an exorcist.” 

In the dark, golden sunflowers poured out a brilliant light.

Ye Zun was blindfolded by his fingers.
He raised his head slightly, and listened to him quietly.

The priest’s voice was very pleasant to the ears, with an unintentional tenderness, as deep and cool as the night.

“From here on out, just listen carefully to what I say.
I rarely like people, but I like you very much.
The more I understand you, the more I like you.”

Like a whisper before bed, it calmed people and made them like him, made them willing to be hypnotised.

“However, just this is not enough to get rid of the curse.” The man softly said, “If the curse is to be removed, one must use the same to get rid of the old.
Listen to me carefully.
Starting from now, my curse is above that curse——”

The darkness in front of him disappeared as the man’s hand departed from his sight.
He opened his eyes subconsciously and saw the handsome and flawless face.

Behind that person was the endless darkness, and in the endless darkness, there was a never-ending field of pear blossoms, blooming like snow.

The night breeze carried the endless pear blossoms across the land, and the petals that floated over brushed past their faces.

But his eyes could only be firmly drawn to the person in front of him.
The man tilted his head slightly, staring at him with his full attention, quietly with clear and mellow eyes, letting him irresistibly accept the curse the man was placing on him——

“I like you very much, and I will like you even more in the future.
Yes, even if you come to feel that it is too much and start to feel scared, begging me to stop, it will continue to grow to an extent where nothing can stop it.
Not only that, I still want to understand you more and more; any thoughts of the past and the future, I want to know them all without any reservation.
It would be in your best interest to begin preparing now.”

His pupils slowly dilated.
In the depths of those brown eyes, he looked at the man in surprise.

The pear blossoms carried a delicate astringent fragrance.
The warmth of the spring breeze and the cool wind in the night entangled together to rush towards him, causing him to experience a trembling numbness across his body and into his heart.
He couldn’t stop shivering slightly.

Was it because of this warm yet cold night breeze?

Was it because of the attentive tenderness in those beautiful eyes?

Or, was it because of what the exorcist said, the curse that breaks his curse?

The wind blew away the murky low-hanging clouds, revealing the bright and dazzling moon.

The sea of snow paved with pear blossoms floated between the dark and the moonlight, dancing in the fierce wind, jumping to the peak of perfection before descending to the ground.

Lin, with his back to the sea of flowers, watched him quietly.
The corners of his lips slowly rose, and his calm and mellow eyes, like a cool mountain spring brimming with precious black crystals, revealed a soft, reserved smile that slowly spread.

Ye Zun didn’t realise this himself but, cautiously and tentatively, he also slowly revealed a smile; shallow, but still there.

Although his body was trembling inexplicably, he really was not afraid, nor fearful.
He didn’t feel cold.
He just felt his mind finally come to be at peace.
It was something he had never felt before.

The author has something to say:

Knocking on the blackboard, when confessing your love, never say anything like, there is no one in the whole world who will like you, no one will love you, except for me… This seemingly-strong-on-the-surface-but-petty-and-low-pua-in-reality is a ‘get kicked in the f*cking head and made into someone’s wedding outfit’ tactic. 

If someone tells you this, please don’t hesitate to kick their head hard enough that it explodes!

Someone who can be gentle and pretends to be a good person that seizes every opportunity to take advantage, a yandere* who compliments, praises, and confesses all the time; this is what a good yandere is.

[T/N: 病娇: someone with a deranged psychology because of love, usually has a morbid obsession with someone, or maybe an ‘idea’.
most people use yandere to describe someone like this.]

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