much did you pay that little lad? This excuse will not do, I thought I was watching some kind of Moving China2 scene!”

“Everyone, don’t scold him.
He’s probably planning to reveal that he has clinical depression tomorrow.”

    …

The little young master exited Weibo and looked up to see the little celebrity still holding the phone at loss.

He stretched out a finger and poked his arm.
“Let me add another one.”

The little celebrity: “?”

The little young master: “I’ve never been roasted so badly in my whole life.”

The little celebrity finally reacted to what he was saying, blocked his eyes with his arm, and couldn’t hold back a laugh.
“Okay, it’s a draw.”

Suddenly the little young master’s stomach rumbled.
He looked at the little celebrity in embarrassment.
“I’m slightly craving for sweet and sour pork.”

The little celebrity: “…”

The little young master grabbed his fingers.
“The kind of sweet and sour sauce thickened with cornstarch is the tastiest, not the kind with tomato sauce.”

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The little celebrity: “I also like sweet and sour sauce, then toss a plate of cucumber salad for crunchiness.”

The little young master thought up some more.
“That wouldn’t be enough for the both of us, we also have to make seaweed egg-drop soup with no green onions and no cilantro.”

The little celebrity: “Why are you so picky? Then add another stir-fried sliced potatoes, extra spicy.”

The little young master: “How about shredded meat in Peking sauce?”

The little celebrity: “Then you have to go to the supermarket to buy some tofu* skin.”
*made by drying the skin that forms on the surface of soymilk during cooking, not actually made from tofu.

After choosing four dishes and one soup, the little celebrity also felt a strong sense of hunger.
“The kitchen has not been used for a long time, you should be careful to check the gas.”

The little young master froze.
“Ah? Am I the one cooking?”

The little celebrity was also shocked.
“If not, should I be the one doing that?”

The little young master: “But I can’t cook.”

The little celebrity: “Then do I look like someone who knows how to cook?”

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The little young master: “Then who usually cooks?”

The little celebrity: “A cooking auntie I hired.”

“And now?”

“I have no money now.”

“…”

After dragging it out for quite some time, the little young master made a compromise to go out and buy food, out of the four dishes and a soup, at least he still knew how to make cucumber salad.
They could make do with buying two more buns for this meal.

When he got to the door, he caught a glimpse of a sheet of paper on the shoe cabinet.

The little young master hesitated for a moment before picking it up to read it.
The handwriting on it was barely legible, it appeared to be the real suicide the little celebrity wrote.

There were only two short lines: I’m leaving, I’m not coming back this time.
Much appreciation if someone can help water the flowers on the balcony every once in a while, they’re quite expensive.

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Translator’s Notes:

The term ‘Yellow Springs’ means the underworld in Chinese. It seems to be the name of an annual award program that airs on a major news channel in China.
The awards are given for contribution to society, the stories tend to be really sappy, preachy, and overexaggerate (and screams propaganda).
You can google translate and see: https://news.cctv.com/special/gdzg2021/syPAGEA3BHYvYOUoOLJXa11wbt220115/index.shtml

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