Damn Reincarnation

hile we climb Lehainjar, not in this snowfield.
I don’t want to get caught up in something like this again, and I don’t want to get in your way either.”

“Don’t say stupid things,” rebuked Eugene.

“I’m saying these things because I’m not stupid.
I know my place.
Why? Do you feel sorry for me after hearing what I said? If that’s the case, I hate it.
I don’t want to be pitied by you.”

Ciel jumped off the ground with a snort.
Then she approached Princess Scalia and Dior, who were still lying unconscious on the ground.
“How long are they going to sleep for? Shouldn’t they get up on their own since we’ve waited this long?”

“Let’s carry them on our backs,” Cyan said, standing up after Ciel.

Before Eugene could stop him, Cyan approached Dior and placed him on his back.
Ciel naturally followed suit and carried Scalia on her back.

“They’ll eventually wake up once we get going.”

Eugene tried to dissuade them.
“Hey, why are you guys in such a hurry? Just wait until they wake up and….”

“I don’t want to be with you anymore because I feel embarrassed and humiliated,” said Ciel.

“When I see your face, I feel like pulling all of my hair out because of anger.” Cyan chimed in, nodding.

“If you hold me back, I’ll hate you for the rest of my life,” spat Ciel with bloodshot eyes.
Eugene could find no words to speak.

“See you in Lehain,” said Cyan before taking off.
In the end, the two of them departed carrying Dior and Scalia.
Eugene stood in place for a while, staring at their shrinking backs.

“Are you worried?”

The voice that interrupted him was in a rather sarcastic tone.
Eugene turned to look at Kristina.
Judging from the crescent shape her eyes took and her smile, it was Anise.

“Of course I’m worried,” responded Eugene.

“Is it because you experienced childhood once again after being reincarnated? Hamel, it seems to me that you are more humane than you were in our past life,” said Anise.

“I was filled with compassion since my previous life,” said Eugene.

“Well, I can’t deny it.
Anyways, I think it’s a relief.
Those twins… don’t hate you.
They envy you, but they aren’t jealous.
Rather, they are there for you and want to be of help,” said Anise.

“I know.
I found that very cute and proud, so I taught them this and that, which is unlike me.
However, Cyan and Ciel are still too young.”

“I don’t think age matters much.
All of us were quite young three hundred years ago.” With a faint smile, Anise traced the holy symbol in the air.
“…Of course, those twins are different from us.
We were just as young as them, but we were born different and experienced different things.
But Hamel, surprisingly, humans are quick to adapt and change.
If a few non-trivial opportunities present themselves, and if they have the will to move forward, then… humans can cause miracles.
Just like we did.”

Eugene listened silently as Anise continued.

“Hamel.
You spent your childhood with those twins, but with the memories of your past life, you couldn’t have shared the same experiences with the twins at the same young age.
That is why you have been treating them like children all along,” said Anise.

“That’s right.”

“No, but they are no longer children.
They want to stand on their own, and they don’t want to rely on others.
Those twins possess the will to do so, and they clearly felt angry at failing to help today.
They despise themselves for being weak.
What they experienced today, and what they’ve experienced thus far, the emotions they feel with each event will act as a turning point for them,” Anise concluded her explanation.

She wasn’t only talking about Ciel and Cyan either.
It was also meant for Kristina, who was quietly listening on the other side of consciousness.
It was the same for Kristina.
She also was forced to come to terms with her bitter weakness, and she also desired to use it as a spring to overcome further hardships.

“If you cross the river of death,” Eugene said after a long sigh.
He stood up before continuing.
“If you survive at the brink of death, if you continue to struggle to survive, even at the cost of having to kill others, then yes.
It’ll temper a person and make them stronger.
Anise, you and I know this fact all too well because we lived in those times.”

“Yes, that’s true.”

“But the time we live in now is peaceful.
I….
If it’s possible….
No, you’re right.
I am still treating Cyan and Ciel like children.
But if possible, I would like them to live out their lives in this peaceful era without having to dance with death,” continued Eugene.

“That’s your selfish desire,” replied Anise.
She was adamant in this respect.
“We do not choose the era we live in, and it’s not something we can change as we wish.
As humans, we are weak and light.
We have no choice but to go with the grand scheme of things, the bigger flow.
In particular, those twins are the descendants of Sir Vermouth.
As long as they bear the name Lionheart, they have no choice but to stand at the forefront of the turbulent times.”

Eugene couldn’t deny her words.

“Whether they choose to walk the tightrope with death, or… whether they choose to abandon everything and run away, is not a matter for you to decide, Hamel.
The fate of man must be his own and his alone,” said Anise.

“They might cry out because they don’t want to but still get caught up in things they didn’t want,” retorted Eugene.

“If they don’t want to get caught up in things, they can simply run away.
If they choose to get caught up in compromises and their own stubbornness, it’s also something they need to deal with on their own,” answered Anise.

“What you say sounds like self-torture,” commented Eugene.

“Then you heard right.
Three hundred years ago, I did not take my destiny as my own.
I did not run away, but I didn’t want to go forward either.
I was stupid, and I couldn’t disobey the orders of the Holy Empire, which was cleverly disguised as the Will of Light.
I was stupid.
I saw countless deaths, thoroughly experienced my own weakness and unspeakable horrors, and despised myself for not running away,” Anise said before rising to her feet.

She smiled while looking down at Hamel, who remained seated.
“But in the end, I was the one to make the final decision.
I chose to follow Sir Vermouth of my own volition.
By my will, I crossed the Devildom with you, Sienna, Molon, and Sir Vermouth.
And by my will, I took my life.
I was able to change like that because….
Haha, because of meaningful events and the will to act.
It was because of these things.”

“And you walked the shore of the river of death many times as well,” Eugene reminded her.

“Yes, that’s right.
Anyways, what I want to tell you is simple.
If you really care for your siblings, do not treat them like children.
Please respect their willingness to act,” concluded Anise.

“It’s been a long time since I last heard one of your lectures.” Eugene stood up with a bitter smile.
He turned his head but could no longer see Cyan and Ciel.
“But Anise.
When you dance with death too many times, you become strange.
You break.”

“When that happens, you take care of them as much as you love them, the same way we did three hundred years ago.
Do you remember Hamel? When we crossed the sea and defeated demonic beasts and a legion of demonfolk, you… could not sleep at night with so many corpses and the stench of blood.”

“That wasn’t just me.
All of us were the same back then, except for Vermouth, that bastard.”

“We could calm our quaking hearts because Sir Vermouth remained resolute.
We relied on each other and held each other in place to ensure no one broke down.
Hamel, don’t think too hard about this.”

There was a slight change in Anise’s smile.
She grinned at Eugene with both her lips and eyes before continuing.
“You just have to become a figure like Sir Vermouth for the twins.”

“Fuck, don’t say such disgusting things,” retorted Eugene.

“You don’t have to be shy.
You secretly admired Sir Vermouth, didn’t you?” teased Anise.

“When have I ever!?” shouted Eugene.

“Don’t deny it now.
It’s nothing to be ashamed of, is it? It wasn’t just you but all of us who admired Sir Vermouth,” said Anise.

“No, no….
Not me.
I never admired that bastard.
To me, Vermouth was—”

“A rival you wanted to overcome one day? Isn’t it more embarrassing to say such things with your own mouth?” interrupted Anise.

“I’m not embarrassed.
For me, Vermouth was….
I didn’t like that he was so… much better than me at everything….
So….
I was furious… that I wanted to knock him down a peg or—”

“Stop, stop! I feel like my hands and feet are shriveling up just listening to you.
How can you say such cringey things without having anything to drink?” Anise interrupted him once more.

“Shut up….
I’m… not ashamed.” It was a lie.
His face and stomach were burning as if he had downed an entire bottle of strong alcohol, and to be honest, he wanted to rip off his snout.

“Are you really not embarrassed? Well, then, how about this?” said Anise with a grin before approaching Eugene.
Then she stretched out her hand and caressed Eugene’s chest.
“By my will, I followed Sir Vermouth.
By my will, I crossed the Devildom with you, Sienna, Molon, and Sir Vermouth.
By my will, I took my life at the end.”

“What are you doing? You’re repeating what you said earlier—”

“And by my will, Hamel, I loved you.”

Eugene felt his face reddening.
It felt as if his head was going to explode.
He panicked and jumped back, and Anise giggled after seeing Eugene’s tomato-red face.

[S-s-sister!]

‘What about it? I’m saying this on my own will.
Or, Kristina, would you like to take advantage of this moment and take the courage to speak your heart?’

[I… I’m not….]

‘As if.’

Anise enjoyed teasing Kristina more than anything.

“I also like Sir Eugene by my own will,” said Mer after poking her head out of the Cloak of Darkness and peering up at Eugene.

“But I love Lady Sienna.
And Lady Sienna—” continued Mer.

“Stop, little lady.
You shouldn’t say such things in her place.
It will be more enjoyable to see Hamel’s reaction when Sienna says it herself,” Anise said with a giggle.

“Shut up.” Eugene suddenly raised his hand and slapped his burning cheek.

Mer’s jaws dropped at this sight.

“Have you gone crazy?” she shouted.

“Abel!” Eugene called.

“Woof!”

Eugene ignored the tingling pain in his cheek and ran forward.
Abel responded in kind and barked vigorously before charging forward.

“To the Grand Hammer Canyon!”

He could hear Anise giggling behind him.